dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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