i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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