The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
