So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
