do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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