she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
