yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
