first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I touched a dick in church today
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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