would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
