i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
