i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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