doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
