on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
