The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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