Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
