I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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