ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
