i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
