hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize