Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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