just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
