He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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