Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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