i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
