I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Your cock deserves a montage
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
