ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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