It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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