And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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