best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
