I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize