he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
3 2 1 whiskey
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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