Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
