Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
