im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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