i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
