dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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