Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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