She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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