i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
