he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you win again, gameday.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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