Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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