so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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