watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
