i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
