i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
