I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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