sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
