i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
