I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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