Already got asked if we're dating
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
