My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
