i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
