Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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