I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex