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• (786): View more from Florida

  I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  hello competition

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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• (904): View more from Florida

  That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Desperate times...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis

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