Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.