hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am mentally ready for anal.