Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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