My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
