operation harelip BJ is a go
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
