My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
