if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
