We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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